Wynnie stood outside of Farhan’s door, this time hesitating before knocking. She felt nervous, her stomach felt like it was filled with butterflies. Taking a deep breath, she knocked on his door. It opened immediately, Farhan was standing there grinning like a Cheshire cat, “Hey!!” he said excitedly, moving in for a hug. Wyn should have expected the hug, but this time it felt so different. Feeling his body against hers again brought up thoughts of the previous night, and she did everything she could to control the shudder that was threatening to betray her body. “I’m starving,” he said now walking towards the stairs. “Me too,” she said quickly, trying not to let him see her nervousness. “Where are we going again?” she asked, feeling awkward about making conversation. “Uhhhh,” he paused then shrugged, “I’m really feelin some Pho….wanna make a trip out to SanMy?” Wyn shrugged, “Hmm..I like Pho,” she responded, following him down the stairs, “Cool! Your driving!” he said as they excited the dorm. “He’s acting like nothing even happened last night….” she thought, slowly following him to the car.
They listened to Han’s ipod on the way over, Wyn was thankful she didn’t have to talk. How he could act like everything was normal was beyond her. So many thoughts were racing through her mind, what should she say? Should she even say anything at this point? Would he bring it up during dinner??? Why were they getting dinner anyway? “Well we do this every so often, just pretend it’s one of those times….you didn’t see him naked or ….anything…” she thought to herself, glancing over at Farhan who was playing air guitar.
The glance sent her mind reeling, as she watched his fingers for a moment, mimicking the action of creating chords on a imaginary fretboard. Suddenly thoughts of last night flashed through her mind, it was as if her body remembered what his fingers had done to her, and craved more. Focusing back on the road in front of her, she tried to hide her blushed cheeks. That didn’t do much as Farhan noticed, “You okay? You look like you saw a ghost,” he said still fingering a pretend fretboard to the music. “Y–yeah…Yeh. I’m good, it’s just warm in here,”she said cracking a window. “Yeah it is a little warm,” he said also cracking his.
Just then they were there, and Wyn was grateful to get out of the car, her breath had become labored and she felt like she was suffocating. “Ugh, ok….no more thoughts…no more,” she tried to will the increasingly explicit thoughts about her friend out of her head to no avail. Lost in her own head, she didn’t hear the “Ma’m???? Ma’m!?” of the hostess who was almost yelling at her, or thats what it felt like. Wyn jolted, “Oh Yes??” she said coming back to reality, “This way please,” the hostess said annoyed.
They followed the hostess to their table, and sat down. As soon as she left Wyn got up, “I have to use the restroom,” she said quickly departing before Han had a chance to acknowledge her. Once in the restroom, Wyn closed herself off in a stall, shutting her eyes tightly trying to will explicit thoughts out of her mind. Maybe if she pretended it never happened things would go back to normal….or maybe not….her body was on fire and this new feeling was as exciting as it was frustrating. “How awkward, I thought I would be able to do this,” she thought to herself as she washed her hands and face, trying to combat the redness that kept appearing whenever she thought about the events of the previous night.
After a few minutes, she felt like she had herself together and made her way back to their table. Farhan was fiddling with his phone, tapping his foot quickly on the floor underneath him. He looked restless. “Okay…you can do this. It’s not weird. It’s nooooot weird,” she sat back down cooly. “You good?” he asked, putting his phone back in his pocket and looking up at her. His blue eyes met hers lazily, and Wyn almost shuddered, “Yeah….I’m good….you decide what you wanna eat?” she asked trying to change the subject. “Nah, I was waiting for you,”he said checking out the menu. “Oh okay…” she replied, staring at her menu but not really looking at it, she had too much on her mind.
“You okay?” he asked again, a look of concern on his face. “You should tell him…” she thought to herself, however she decided against it and shook her head, “I’m okay….it’s just been a long day. Was studying for my anthro test, I just have a tiny headache.” Farhan stuck his lips out in a pout, she absentmindedly licked her lips when he did this her mind thinking of all the things his mouth did last night. She blushed. Farhan, of course, didn’t notice and responded as he normally would, “Aw. Poor baby. Well good thing we are getting some food in you.”
“I would like something else in me,” she thought to her own surprise. “Yeah. Food. Uhm? What are you getting?”she asked trying to keep her voice even.
They ordered and sat in silence for a bit before Farhan asked her yet again if she was okay, “You sure you alright?” he asked, noticing her lack of usual chattiness. “Yeah……” she said avoiding his gaze. “You’ve been acting weird ever since last night. Do you feel like it was a mistake?” he asked pointedly. Wyn’s eyes shot up and took in his face, he looked slightly disappointed. Like he knew it would be a mistake in the end. Wyn didn’t feel like it was such, but she was confused with the new sensations invading her body.
“I don’t regret it…” she said slowly, “I just…can’t get it out my head now…” her voice grew small. Farhan’s concerned face transformed into sultry smirk, “Oh??? Really?” Blushing, Wyn didn’t respond, instead boring a hole into her menu. Han reached over and pushed the top of the menu down, forcing her to look at him. “What’s stuck in your head?” he teased. Not able to make the words come out of her mouth she shrugged, “I dunno…..”.
“Did you like when I kissed your neck?” he asked playfully, Wyn felt a slight tingle down below and said nothing, looking down at her lap. He leaned towards her, placing his elbows on the table and speaking just above a whisper, “Did you like my tongue ran over yo-” Wyn interrupted him suddenly, “Han! We are in public,” she exclaimed somewhat quietly. Farhan sat back in his seat and chuckled, “Your so cute when you get flustered.”Wyn’s foot connected with his knee under the table, “Hush!”
“Ouch!” he said playfully, pretending to grab his shin as if in pain.
At that moment she remembered her mother’s advice to talk to him, would there be a better time than now? “I just…I..How did you know how to do all that?” she asked curiously. Farhan smiled and leaned close to her again, “Practice.” The words dripped out of his mouth like honey, slowly and seductively. Feeling a mix of jealousy and want, she asked another question. “Have you…practiced with a lot of people?” Han’s eyes narrowed a bit and he sat back, thinking before answering, “I would say a moderate amount,” he answered finally.
“Well, it’s more than me,” she mumbled embarrassed at her lack of experience. Frowning, Farhan asked her a question to change the line of questioning, “Did you enjoy it?”
A flash of remembrance took over her mind and she shuddered slightly, Han noticed and laughed, “I take that as a yes.” With a face as red as a beet, Wyn gave a small answer, “I did…but. I dont know Han. I don’t really want to pursue a relationship right now, Han….I’m going to be leaving for a whole semester after summer is over…I have so much I have to do…I’m just scared of being cheated on again,” she felt embarrassed, her feelings were betraying her, and she kept rambling about all the reasons why it couldn’t work.
Thoughts of Jeremy and his multiple women flashed through her head, she couldn’t deal with that again. Especially if it was Han. And who was to say he wouldn’t be tempted by other women when she was gone?
He sighed his grin turning into a pout again, “Yeah. I know. I wouldn’t do that by the way. But I understand.” Just then the food came giving both of them a much needed break from the conversation.
Once the waiter had left and their food was sitting hot and ready, Han spoke. “We don’t have to be anything but friends, if that’s what you want,” he paused, “But….if you ever change your mind…..or need a…hand….or two. Let me know,” he grinned at her taking a bite of his food. Wyn didn’t know what to do, how to ask, or if she even wanted to ask. The growing low burning sensation between her legs was intensifying, and gazing at her friend across from her wasn’t helping.